Archive for the 'Weight Loss' Category

Weigh-in

I’m not sure if I mentioned this but I made the decision to go back to Weight  Watchers last Monday.  Ben and I had been doing the weight loss thing on our own for the last few months but not a whole lot was happening on the weight loss front.  Plus, I kind of missed being judged when I weighed in (I kid!  I kid!) and I definitely missed the meetings.   The last time I signed up for WW there was a new leader named Pat who I really enjoyed and luckily it’s still her leading the meetings on Monday nights. 

Last night Ben and I had a family dinner with his half-sister who he hadn’t seen in about 20 years so I didn’t have time to stay for the meeting.  I quickly ran in to get weighed feeling, I don’t mind saying, a little apprehensive about it.  Ben and I had a Blizzard treat at Dairy Queen earlier in the week and I hadn’t drank much water over the weekend.  I took off my shoes, prayed to the god of weight loss and held my breath. 

Surprisingly (shockingly?) I lost a whopping 7.4lbs.  Yay me!  I got my first 5lb star, did my happy dance and then took off for home in order to pick up Ben for the family dinner.

The family dinner was very nice, I had never met his sister or her husband and they were both very lovely people.  As were the various other people we met at the house (other siblings, grandchildren etc.).  His sister put on a delicious dinner; unfortunately in my new quest to be a vegetarian I hadn’t really thought or prepared myself for what I would do when going to someone else’s house for dinner.  Therefore I found myself taking a very small piece of chicken in order to be polite.  But I mean seriously small, like it would fit in the palm of a baby’s hand small.  Still, it was meat (and sadly, delicious meat!) so I can’t say that I will have gone an entire month without eating meat but hey, 29 days out of 30 ain’t bad.

In other news, Dexter the Mutant Chihuahua has been blessing us with a case of doggy diarrhea.  On Friday I worked at the vet and we had at least 4 dogs in with vomiting and diarrhea.  Sunday morning I woke up to discover a rather disgusting mess in Dexter’s crate waiting for me.  Not sure if I brought something home to the poor mutt or if he’s just like half of the other dogs in the city right now with a bad case of the puppy poops but the last couple of days have been….unpleasant.  We denied him food for a day and are just starting to give him some gastro food, small feedings frequently throughout the day.  If it hasn’t improved by tomorrow then we (Ben) will scrape up a poop sample and take it to the vet clinic for analysis.  It pays to work at the vet; not only do you get a discount on procedures but if you’re smart enough you pick up tips and tricks to try before even having to bring your dog in for an exam.  If it’s just mild gastrointestinal upset (which I suspect it is based on his behaviour and general upbeat attitude towards life) then this will do the trick and he’ll be back to his normal pooping self in no time.

I know how riveting the texture and density of my mutant chihuahua’s poop is to all of you and as such will be keeping you informed as to his current poop status.

Chicken? I love chicken…

When Ben and I are doing the right thing and eating healthy we find ourselves basically following the Canadian Food Guide.  Eating a little bit of all the healthy, whole natural foods and remembering that moderation is the key.  Which, interestingly enough, is really what Weight Watchers is all about, only they don’t say that, they just pimp out eating lots of veggies and fruits and assign points to everything to help us poor fat food addicts learn moderation skills.

We’ve never done the Southwest Beach Diet, the cabbage diet, or that high protein, low carb one that was all the craze a few years ago…what was it called?  A-ha - the fine folks at google have informed me that it’s called the Atkinson diet. 

Four nights ago I was looking for some simple vegetarian meals.  While not vegetarian’s we always attempt to have a few “meatless” dinners a week not only to help with the budget (hello simple living!) but also because we know it’s not necessary to eat meat with every meal. 

I stumbled upon a website where I got way more than the vegetarian recipes I was expecting.  It’s my own fault really - I’m blaming it on the long hours I’ve been working lately and a 3lbs overweight distraction named Dexter who was chewing merrily on my shoe while I surfed the internet.

Where was I?  Right…vegetarian meals.  So there I was looking for a vegetarian recipe when I see a link that says “Top 10 reasons you shouldn’t eat pork” and without really thinking about it I clicked the link.  I remember thinking at the time that it probably talked about the high fat content of it and/or it was too salty blah, blah, blah.  In hindsight I should have known better but like I said, I was tired and distracted.  I found myself reading 10 horrifying facts about what they do to pigs at the slaughterhouse and just how smart and friendly pigs are. Directly under that they had 10 reasons why you shouldn’t eat beef and 10 reasons why you shouldn’t eat chicken.  Each list was more horrible than the one before it. 

And just like that I couldn’t eat meat anymore.  I knew bad things happened to the pig, cow, chicken I was eating but knowing how I react, I purposely stayed away from websites and video’s that described it so that I could continue to be blissfully carnivorous.

It’s been four days and I’ve been strictly herbivore (although I am still consuming free range eggs and cheese) without any interest in eating meat.  However, if losing 100lbs and then promptly gaining 70 of it back has taught me anything it’s that my ability to stick to something isn’t exactly my strongest asset.

By this time next week I could have blocked the horrific words from my head and be chowing down all carnivorously but I’ve decided in the interest of a little experiment that even if the moral outrage fades I’m going to stick to the vegetarian lifestyle for 30 days.  I’m curious to see if I lose more weight on a weekly basis when I’m not eating meat and also if not eating any meat at all helps my wretched and life altering stomach issues.  Because if it does?  I’ll swear off meat forever, hand to God people.  FOREVER.

Hummus Ho!

I made hummus tonight for the first time ever.  It is delicious.  I found the simplest and easiest recipe on the internet, pulled out my blender and made the hummus in 10 minutes.

For your reading/eating pleasure:

1 can of 19oz chickpeas

3 tablespoons of lemon juice

2 tablespoons of olive oil

1/2 teaspoon of salt

2 cloves of garlic - minced

The recipe also called for tahini but since I a) didn’t have any in my house and b) don’t even know what the hell tahini is I chose not to add it in.

I added the ingredients to the blender and started blending.  As I was going along I had to add some water as the mixture was quite thick and wouldn’t blend very well.  I finally added enough water that it blended smoothly and became nice and creamy.  Pair it with some raw vegetables and ta-da - a low fat delicious snack.

How to Cook a Spaghetti Squash

Yup, the girl who can’t and doesn’t (generally) cook, is going to teach y’all how to cook a spaghetti squash.   I have decided to try give cooking a try, at least every once in a while, as I’m all about improving myself and trying new things.  Also, I think after four years of marriage I should start pulling my weight in the cooking department. 

Now, the best thing about spaghetti squash (other than it tasting super scrumptious) is it’s zero points, if you’re happening to be following the Weight Watcher life style (and I am, oh how I am…incidentally I lost 1.2lbs at WW last week and that was with Thanksgiving!  Yay me!) and -  have I mentioned that it’s delicious?  Decadently delicious?

Anyhoodle, I goofed up and forgot to take pictures of the squash before I had actually cut it, gut it and stuck it in the oven but I’ll do my best to describe the necessary steps and you can follow along with visuals in your head.  Head out to your local grocery store/super centre Walmart/local farmer’s garden/wherever and pick yourself up a spaghetti squash.  I tend to buy smaller ones being that it’s just the boy and I (the boy child and his best friend tend to avoid all vegetables with the dedication of a marine) but you could buy a larger one and use the leftover squash for, well, leftovers. 

Take the biggest knife you own (no seriously, the biggest and baddest one currently residing in your kitchen will be the only suitable one for the job) and cut the squash right down the middle, lengthwise.  Trust me, this is harder than it sounds.  Spaghetti squash is one of the hardest substances known to man, like diamonds - or Cuda the dog’s head.  (Seriously, that dog has the hardest head in the world.  One time Cuda was relaxing in the living room and something scared the living daylights out of him - I believe it was the neighbours whispering next door (he’s extremely skittish) that set him off - and he leaped up and turned to run, where I don’t know, but that’s not really the point of the story.  The point was that he turned and ran head first into our computer desk (he has the memory of the common housefly when it comes to furniture placement).  I was in the kitchen and heard a terrific crack, I assumed it was the sound of Cuda’s head splitting open but he was completely fine.  Gave his head a slight shake, fixed the desk with the evil eye and resumed his position in front of the couch.  The desk wasn’t broken so we assume the crack came from his skull.  We watched him for a few days for signs of head trauma and brain damage but the dog is so naturally stupid that it was difficult to judge whether he was his normal self or was suffering serious skull trauma. 

Picture of dog with hardest canine skull in the known universe:

 Where was I?  Right… the cutting of the spaghetti squash.  This really is the trickiest part, at least for me who’s been known to seriously injure herself when attempting to cook.  One time about seven years ago I was cooking spaghetti and as I innocently chopped the green pepper, the knife flew out of my hand and embedded it’s pointy self into the top of my foot.  True story.  I lived on my own at the time and I remember looking down and seeing the knife sticking out of my foot.  And I says to myself

Kelly: “Self, this is not good.” 

Mollie the cat (wandering into the kitchen to investigate):  Dumb ass human.

Kelly:  Do I pull it out or leave it in?

Mollie:  Whatever.

I did eventually pull it out and survived to cook another day but as my friend Chris said “Who knew that green peppers could be so lethal?”  I certainly didn’t know they had it in them.

Once you finally succeed in cutting the spaghetti squash in half (mine required a loud amount of grunting, cursing and finally slamming the knife and squash on the counter and breaking it open), scoop out the seeds and guts and dispose of them appropriately (do not give them to the bulldog currently begging at your feet).  Stab both halves of the squash a few times with a fork and place them on a microwave safe plate.  Microwave the squash for 8 to 10 minutes while you preheat the oven at 375 degrees.   Place both halves of the squash on a cookie sheet and plop a teaspoon of margarine in each half (directly into the little indent in the middle of the squash).  Sprinkle liberally with seasoning salt.  Stick it in the oven and cook it for 20 to 30 minutes, depending on the size of the squash.

Now this next part is optional…when you’re placing the cookie sheet in the oven, let the knuckle of your index finger rest against the oven rack long enough to make the skin crispy.  (See photo detail below)

Despite this debilitating wound, I bravely carried on with the supper plan while Ben dozed on the couch like a little old man who spent too much time in the sun.  I’m just sayin’…

While the squash is cooking, you’re going to go through your fridge and pull out any vegetables that you think would be tasty and interesting to eat and cook (um…sautee maybe?  Is that what you fancy chefs call it?) them in a non-stick pan coated liberally with Pam.  I went with fresh mushrooms, sliced green peppers, chopped green onions and thinly sliced zucchini (Damn, I sound professional don’t I?).  You could also add a touch of fresh garlic if you like, but thanks to an unfortunate childhood garlic incident, I tend to not use it.  Cook (sautee?) those vegetables up and add your favourite commercial pasta sauce (I used Original Ragu but Prego would work just as well).  Let it heat and bubble merrily at low temperatures for 5 to 10 minutes like so:

Now for the fun part - once the 30 minutes are up, pull the squash out of the oven.  Using an oven mitt, cradle one half of the squash in your hand (be careful - they’re hot!) and viciously attack it with a fork.   Spaghetti squash is called spaghetti because the meat of the squash, when combed (or viciously attacked) with a fork turns into what looks remarkably like spaghetti.  Behold - pictures of one “combed” half of squash and one “pre-combed” half of squash:

Pre-combed:

“Combed”

(Seriously, how fricken’ cool is that?)

Once you’ve removed all of the “meat” of the squash it should look like this:

Then, ladle that veggie and sauce combo we cooked earlier over the spaghetti squash, like so:

 

And, as a lovely side dish you can boost up your veggie intake even more by making a simple, yet delicious!, tomato and cucumber salad. 

As I said, this is a very simple recipe.  Take one english cucumber, two medium field tomatoes and chop them into large chunks (or small, if you don’t, you know, like large chunks of cucumber and tomatoes).  Place them in a large bowl with a lid and add:

1/4 cup oil (I use olive oil)

2 tablespoons of white vinegar

1 tablespoon of sugar

1 teaspoon of salt

pepper to taste

Securely fasten the lid on to the bowl and then shake what your mama gave ya!  (Also, although you may be tempted to do this, do not sing “Livin’ la Vida Loca” at the top of your lungs while holding the securely lidded bowl and shaking what your mama gave you around the kitchen.  It will cause the guy currently snoozing on your couch like an old man who sat in the sun too long to wake up, clutch his chest and holler “Elizabeth - I’m coming home!” like a big ole’ Drama Queen.)

Now the recipe does say you should let the salad marinate an hour to two hours in the fridge before serving this salad, but seriously y’all - do I look like someone who has an hour or two to let my dinner marinate?  I tend to make this salad before I start working on the squash so it has half an hour to 40 minutes to marinate max.  It still tastes good.

The salad:

And that, my friends, is how you cook a spaghetti squash.  Delicious, nutritious and super low in points.  That entire meal was, on average, less than 10 points (points need to be handed out for the oil, the sugar and the the pasta sauce) (and considering that I had a very large and high point lunch, I needed a low point supper!) and as a bonus - by using a little imagination and perusing your fridge, you can get all of your veggies for the day in, in one fell swoop!

The Cooking Queen

I know this will shock and amaze many of you but I have actually cooked two nights in a row without setting anything on fire.  It’s a world record!

Ben’s been super busy with work this week and on average doesn’t get home until after 9 leaving me the choice of either cooking or starving.  I, obviously, chose the cooking despite the very real risk of small burner fires, loud panicked screeching and obnoxious smelling smoke that lingers for days.

I’ve been sticking rigidly to the WW program this week and what a difference it makes when you’re eating healthy every single meal and drinking 8 glasses of water a day.  And not only have I been counting my points and making the effort to choose healthy food, I’ve exercised every day this week.  Another monumental achievement for Kelly.  Have I mentioned my intense hatred for exercising?  Also, I may have mentioned this before, but that Leslie Sansone has got some weird ass eyebrows.  I’m obsessed with them, half the time I find myself out of step while doing the 1 mile video because I’m so arduously studying her eyebrows.  Are they real?  Are they drawn on?  Why would someone allow themselves to have eyeybrows that nearly extend to their temples?  I fear I will never know and that haunts me.  Haunts me.

It’s going to be a busy few weeks ahead, I’m working on a new miniature project and I’m volunteering with a local animal rescue to help capture a large volume of feral domestic bunnies that roam  our city.  I’ll be sure to post plenty of pictures of me falling on my ass while attempting to capture a lightning fast feral bunny.  Good times people, good times.

One Mile Madness

Last night at 10:30 I was lying on the bed, rattie boys flinging themselves madly about the bed and bouncing off my head with reckless abandon and watching a rather dull episode of Law and Order.  Truth be told, I gave up on Law and Order after Lenny left (RIP Jerry Orbach) - but then they went and hired Jeremy Sisco and I was hooked again (Marry me Jeremy Sisco!!  We’ll live in a delightfully dilapidated shack on the beach and drink margaritas and take long walks in the warm sand and give each other foot rubs every day!).  

But despite my adoration for all things Jeremy, I wasn’t feeling the Law and Order love last night.  As I carefully extracted a tiny rat toe from my eyeball (thanks Francis) I made the mistake of glancing at the little shelf under the tv.  What did I see?  My rather dusty and forlorn looking copy of Leslie Sansone’s One Mile Walk.  I quickly looked away, humming to myself and pretending that I still couldn’t remember where I had placed that darn video tape (yes, embarrassingly enough, it is a video tape, not even a dvd).  I tried to re-absorb myself into the world of Law and Order but it was too late, the damage was done.   Completely against my will I found myself repeatedly glancing at the tape, Leslie’s dusty face crying out to me:

“Kelly, get off your butt, dust me off and stick me in that vcr/dvd player not less than 2 feet away from you.  You’re not even enjoying Law and Order.  Your butt looks huge in those pajama bottoms.  You’ll feel better and happier if you exercise.  Remember that jumbo chocolate chip cookie you ate for dessert?  If you exercise with me, you won’t feel so guilty and you’ll earn extra points to compensate for the cookie.”

Finally, with a scream of rage, I got off my bed, dusted off the tape and stuck it in the video player.  The moment the music started and Leslie came on the screen I knew I had made a terrible mistake.  My heart cried out for the pleasing sight of Jeremy Sisco.  Instead, 20 minutes and one mile later, I collapsed on the bed.  The rattie boys came over and began to chew thoughtfully on my hair while I begged weakly for Ben to bring me water. 

After graciously bringing me a cold glass of water, Ben congratulated me on working out but said “You might want to think about exercising earlier in the evening though, working out late at night will keep you up.”

“Pshaw,” I said, handing him back my water glass, ”I’m so tired from working out I’m going to fall asleep immediately.  In fact, I think I’ve discovered a great new way to help me sleep at night.”

“Yes dear.” he nodded, rolled his eyes and went back to grading papers.

FYI - Ben was right, working out late at night, does keep you awake.  Curses! 

Eat! Eat! Eat! And always stay thin!

How friggin’ awesome/disturbing is this website?

http://www.tapewormdiet.net/index.html

 You guys, I’m totally ditching weight watchers and going the way of the worm.  Yum!