The Diaries of a Fat Chick

I’ve done something a little different this year.  I have resolved not to make any New Year resolutions….other then, you know, resolving not to make any resolutions.

Also, we’ve decided we will spend Christmas 2010 in the warm grasp of Mexico.  Ben and I have never traveled outside of Canada and we’re thinking it’s about time we did.  And to make it even better, my curly headed little friend Jess and her sexy hunk of a man TZ will be joining us.   The four of us have never been in a room simultaneously.  Mostly because the powerful awesomeness of the four of us together will be enough to crash the moon into the ocean.

Mexico will never be the same.

In other news, Dexter the wonder humper was stopped in his tracks on Tuesday when he met the awesome laser power of Dr.  Kathy.  One dose of anesthetic, one Dr. Kathy with a laser, 20 minutes later and he was ball-less.   He’s recovering well from his lack of testicles, although he showed a remarkable amount of determination by spending his first evening at home after the neutering humping his new pink poodle.  Turns out he also had remarkably large testicles for a chihuahua.  That’s our boy.

His big beautiful ears were also marred forever by a tattoo.  It seems remarkably hyprocritical of me considering the amount of tattoo’s I myself have but I can slightly understand how a parent feels when their child comes home forever marked with a tattoo.   Although the tattoo is completely necessary in terms of identification in case he ever gets lost (and knowing how much he hates wearing a collar, it’s entirely plausible that the tattoo would be his only form of identification if he ever decided to leave home) I still frown a little whenever I see the tattoo embedded in his lovely ear.  And in an unfortunate term of events, Dexter happened to be the second dog of the year that they tattooed, hence his tattoo has the number 2 in it, leading Ben to call him “Number Two” whenever he speaks to him.

After the Great Death Year of 2009 (do you know that we lost 10 animals this year either through natural death or euthanasia?) I am determined to make 2010 the Year of Kelly.  2009 kicked my ass and I refuse to let 2010 do the same.

It started out strong too - I spent New Year’s Day reorganizing my kitchen, tossing stuff I no longer used, giving a bunch of stuff to Value Village and cleaning the microwave.  Since then it’s gone a bit downhill but I am positive that any day now it’ll turn the hell around.  It is the Year of Kelly afterall. 

Last weekend Ben built a staircase to our bed for the coolest feline on the planet - Smokey.  His arthritis has been getting steadily worse and the combination of that and our extremely high bed has been very difficult for my poor boy.  And since (stop me if you’ve heard this already) I love Smokey more than anything else in the world I immediately demanded that Ben build him a staircase.  Ben, ever so accommodating, generously donated an entire day of his Christmas break to building the stairs.  Smokey?  Loves it.

He started using it almost immediately and I can breathe a sigh of relief knowing that he’s no longer leaping from the bed to the floor with a bone jarring thump.  Yay Smokey!  Yay Ben!

And now?  Now I’m going to bed.  Night y’all.